Hope Deferred? or interior motive..

is your hope deferred? Here is my testimony.

I began to Seek the Lord in the mist of a trial. God began to teach me about interior motives of the heart and the very motives in my own heart.

I found myself in a place that was excruciating and exhausting I literally was so overwhelmed, weeping my heart out to the lord almost daily.

My heart was full of expectations because of a promise of God.

I prayed , fasted, and I travailed with the word over my life, and the things that God has promised me to no result. In a particular promise that I’ve been waiting for.

My heart became sick spiritually, and my hope was deferred.

I did all that God required of me. I was obedient and still no results.

And then finally, I cried out to God and said this God, “if you don’t do anything, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I am completely broken before you.”

And in this very moment, I felt like God never heard me!

And then I found myself in a situation on a plane and I pray it again, and he answered me exactly what I requested.

And I knew right then he heard me.

And this is where it  all began

I found myself seeking truth!

Asking myself Was all that I did in vain?

And then God began to teach me so in my testimony here’s a lesson I learned!

I learned that I was seeking the Lord for results..

What I mean is that… all these things I did, were required of me, but I came in expectation of a result.

that if I did what I was supposed to do for God, that he, in result he will pay me back with a promise.

I was seeking out the gift and not the gift giver!

Don’t get me wrong I love God, but my works was without honor.

Until One day I saw a vision of myself in prayer and before I began to pray, God showed me a motive in my heart, it was like I was bowing down to a idol of my own heart in prayer.

The very idol was a promise that God has promised me!

I began to truly examine my own heart before the Lord.

No, parent wants a child that would just obey because they are getting something out of it.

I am not saying, God does not bless your obedience because he does! what I’m saying is that God requires your whole heart.

And that God was requiring much more of me than my obedience, just as the Bible says,

“You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind.” Luke 10:27 NLT

Without even knowing I was moving in control, as if I can manipulate God to produce his word!

My lack of understanding led to great discouragement.

I desired to know about the Lord, even more than before, and not just his benefits, but who he is and his ways more in depth!

And as I am continually learning I felt led to share this with you all..

It is God’s great love and compassion that he died for us! John 3:16

It is God’s love, that he extends mercy and grace to us!

God is a God, who gives good gifts to his children..

But as I learned, he’s a God that desires full commitment of all your heart, and all your soul, and all your mind to him alone!

And it wasn’t what I did that moved God for my benefit.

It’s love…

He desired my unconditional love

A love that will do. A love that will say.

And A love that will seek because  he loved me first.

“We love because he first loved us.”

1 John 4:19 NIT

and in that we will obey out of love.. just as  it says in John 14:15 “If you love me, obey my commandments.”

So my prayer to anyone who feels discouraged, or there hope is deferred as i shared, my testimony that God will bring you into the fullness of his love!

He’s a God of his word and It cannot return unto him void!

There is a season, and time for all things be produced, but in the meantime, do all that God is requiring of you in love!

Don’t get worry in well doing! Hold fast!

Surely you will see the promises of God fulfilled in your life, for God’s promises are yes and amen!

-Blessings

Ashley Herndon

@ Heaven’s Affirmation